How to ask for money! – The importance of balancing giving with receiving for empathic self-employed people

Your hands start to tremble and you feel that familiar flush of anxiety rising in your neck.  Up to this point things had been going so well.  You explained happily about the service you offer and how it can benefit the potential new client.  But now your client asks  the one question you have been dreading:

“How much do you charge?”

Despite spending ages perfecting your offer/service your heart now is racing and in just a split second a hundred doubts race through your mind…

  • What if I am not good enough?
  • What if they think I am too expensive?
  • What if they find someone cheaper?
  • What if they say no?
  • What if I make a mistake later down the line?

What if….What if…What if….??

Fleetingly amid these awful feelings you decide to protect yourself.  You offer a discount  (or worse still – your service for free)!

“Well normally it’s £*** but…..”

“If you book today I can do it for…..”

“We could do a skill swap if you want?”

“Whats your budget?”  (this one secretly means “I don’t have to say a price, I can just go slightly less than you can afford so you book.  Then I feel better because I have helped you.”)

Being in this high-anxiety state of mind when asking for money is really damaging to the sensitive business person and explains why a lot of HSP’s (Highly Sensitive People) and creatives do not turn their passion into their dream job.

It damages your bank balance as you find it increasingly impossible to raise your prices, you get known for being ‘cheap’ .  This de-values your work and worst of all, for some customers, it can be somewhat insulting if you assume they cannot afford you!

All in all – not charging your worth equals poor customer service and poor reputation in the long run.  Harsh words for sensitive people to hear I know but I have good news for you!

You can fix this!

You, beautiful, caring, wonderful person,  you absolutely deserve to earn a living.  And you can!

First we need to understand where these feelings come from.  For me it is a mixture of subtle fears that all pile in together then bubble up to the surface all at once (and when you need it the least)!

These include (but are not limited to):

  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of missing knowledge
  • Fear of success
  • Fear of looking greedy
  • Fear of other’s opinions
  • Fear of losing the sale
  • Fear of getting the sale (I used to get this A LOT – perversely)
  • Fear of numbers/money
  • Fear of making a mistake/getting a complaint
  • Dis-calculus
  • Low self-worth/Low self-esteem

When a sensitive human is in this state of mind it becomes almost impossible to make good, rational decisions about money.  You become out of balance.  This leads to your worst fears coming true (you attract the lack of income).

So how can you re-balance your money scales and make all right with the universe again?

You must understand if you give (service, money, purchase things), you MUST also receive (service, money, your purchases)

And I bet you are a giver right?  So it is essential that we free you from your fears in order to be open to receiving – thus balancing the scales again. 

 

Would you like to explore this further and find out more ways to delve deep into your skills, discover how you not only your achievements but your failures through your life have real value?  Find out more about how to put this learning into action in your business?  Would you like to figure out a more accurate way to charge for your services.  Then why not get in touch today:

With love,

Claire xxx

claire@spinmyplates.com

 

 

*From Financial Times, 1 Jan 2018

**From UK Government Website, National Minimum Wage 2018

***Original ideas from Wallace Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich

4 responses so far.

  1. Janet Blske says:

    Claire found this very helpful in knowing my worth in what I do .
    So re looking at my price list of the treatments I offer

    • Claire says:

      Thats great Janet, glad you found it helpful. We so often undervalue our skills and experience! Let me know how you get on with doing the excercise xx

  2. Linda Bishopp says:

    This is excellent advice – particularly for women who often undercharge!

    • Claire says:

      Thank you Linda. I completely agree that under-charging is an issue. I realised that when I went to increase my own charges and felt such anxiety at the thought of it. xxx

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